How To Recognize Your Personal Development

Ep.037Truth&TequilaQ&A (tp)

Welcome to Truth + Tequila!

These episodes are dedicated to answering any and all questions you have navigating the areas of spirit, sex and of course, igniting your mojo.

This week’s question comes from Becca, who says:

I see myself in a recurrent situation. It comes from me being loyal to a fault. I feel like there is something not functioning right in my behavior because I knew from some news I got a least six months ago that I was not feeling good about my relationship with someone that I’ve known for a long time. This is a work relationship. However, I still continued on in the work relationship and all along I’ve been frustrated. I expressed my frustration and so on. But yet, did I? So, I mean, how long does it take to step away from something that you know isn’t right for you? The level of mindfuck seems to take a really long time and it’s so hard to separate. PS. I’m not even talking about the marriage that lasted 10 years more than it should, that’s a different story. SO, what’s it what is my problem? Or as you say, the kink in me. This is insane.

So first of all, it’s not insane. Ok. Love yourself. like really, truly, madly, deeply love yourself first. Because your question is coming from there’s something wrong with you and there’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of us. Nothing. Your question could be asked by many people out here.

You simply bought into the lie that you’re the problem or that the problem lies within you. You bought into the bunk stories and lies. There’s nothing wrong. And what is beautiful is you have an awareness of where you are denying the deeper truth within yourself.

You’re actually clear. You’re like, OK, I got this message within approx. 6 months ago. Well, to me, this sounds like it’s all about an old story. And, without having all the details, the thing that stands out is: Six months. Right. Six months went by.

You know, previously in your life of similar experiences, were they longer than six months before taking an action or having an awareness? My guess is yes based on the marriage comment.

So, consider this. Consider that six months is big progress. And really, I want to encourage you and everybody here to recognize this. I’d love to give everybody some kind of a pill where you can recognize all of your wins, when it comes to your personal development and when it comes to this type of growth, it’s really this inner growth. It’s insidious because you are not trained to look for the wins in this way. In micro movements. And yet these are the ways that your life truly changes.

And when I say life, I mean your careers, your relationships, your health, your mental well-being. So the fact that you had only six months before asking for help or taking an action is like a big fucking deal (vs. the previous amounts of time, like one year or two or 10).

So Number one: celebrate that.

Number two: it’s not about well, fuck, You’re jumping into the pattern again. Now what can happen is this six months can potentially turn into six days the next time you notice the pattern. Which could then potentially go into a more immediate response or within 24 hours of going, oh, right, I’m feeling this thing/person/experience is not right for me. And then you move on.

You’re in this forward progression and that first has to be acknowledged, because if you gloss over that, it’s when you’re training a dog, Right. If you don’t treat the dog enough, when it does the good stuff, it’s not necessary to keep doing the good stuff. And it’s the same thing with the relationship with yourself.

I think for you right now, it’s critical to celebrate the crap out of the fact that it’s only been six months. And as you move forward, allow yourself to listen and then respond from your body. Your body is the ORACLE that holds all the truth and knows the exact next step.

As always, these episodes are FOR YOU.

And they are driven by your needs and desires to discover YOUR truth.

To have your question considered for an upcoming Truth + Tequila episode,

Go to

And click submit your Q on the Truth + Tequila image.

The Real Undressed is here to inspire you to get free…in whatever way, shape or form that takes.

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We’ll see you Friday for a full episode with health and sexuality expert and creator of Girl Boner Radio, August McLaughlin.

As always, thanks for getting undressed with me.

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      © 2020 Deborah Kagan