Reclaiming Confidence


Welcome to Truth + Tequila!

These episodes are dedicated to answering any and all questions you have navigating the areas of spirit, sex and of course, igniting your mojo.

This week’s question comes from Stacey, who says:

I’m having an issue with confidence. And I don’t know what I want to say about it, except that I’m having an issue with it. I’m in the film business (producing + directing) and I have all these stories in my head that I’m certain age and I did this beautiful film recently but coming out of that film into the world again has been tough. I have the stories of, I’m getting out there, I’m this  older age. But, I didn’t win the important film festival. I didn’t get this or that. Ugh. Lots of disempowering thoughts. I really need some confidence. Please help.

Thanks Stacey. Right off the bat I’m going to say I never, ever bullshit anybody. Call it part being a New Yorker, part being an Aries and plain ‘ol just like to be a truth teller. We’re not gonna solve this entire question in this one episode. And, The first thing that I want to say is know that the majority of women over the last two decades who have worked with me came because of the confidence issue. That’s ultimately how I support women. In getting your mojo back.

Now, there’s something that I call the Kinky Life. And it’s not like that Kinky life. But it’s important to mention here because it’s going to give you the perspective and the foundation for this issue. I’m starting here because it plants the seed that starts to unravel some things to hopefully give you some freedom.

Remember, everything is energy. Including your experiences in life. And Every single thing that you’ve gone through in your life is layered in your body. The wonderful ones, the not so wonderful ones and everything in between. The thing is, the not so wonderful ones, if they are not dealt with and dealt with almost immediately, which for all of us they really weren’t OK. What happens is that energy gets hardened and calcified and creates a kink in your mojo flow.

Now mojo is your life force. It’s your energy. And it moves IN you through something called meridians. Just think about them like  freeways moving traffic. Meridians are the energetic freeways in your body. So what’s happening is your natural mojo is attempting to flow through you. But then it bumps up against this kink in your system. It’s a neurobiological kink. And in younger years, it was a little more malleable because you haven’t lived as much. But depending on the level and the size of the original incident that caused the kink, can determine how solidified it is within you.

Your mojo was trying to get through and still is, but it hits the kink and maybe a little bit gets through. But guess what? It’s going through the lens of that kink and what happens?

What’s happening is your natural mojo, which has its pure desires and its pure confidence is sifting through this lens. Now, the mojo is a little wobbly. So as a filmmaker, you can get this analogy, the kink is like a prism, right. And it’s going to change the vision of this original light source on the other side of it. As it passes through the ‘lens’, it gets distorted. Well, what happens when the mojo gets distorted out there? It’s going and moving and  vibrating. And it’s going to find its likeness, which is why you’ll hear people say, I don’t fucking understand. Why do I keep getting the same thing over and over again? Why do I keep attracting the same kind of partner which is not the kind of partner I really want? Or why do I keep attracting the same kind of stupid as job blah blah, blah, blah, blah? Right. It’s because of that kink that your mojo is moving through.

Now the good news is you can totally smooth out your kinks. And again, it takes practice and it just takes repetition. And this is why the mojo tools have been developed. But the fact of the matter is, there has to be a connection to your body.

Your mojo lives in your body and the lack of confidence comes from being disconnected to your body and your source of mojo. When you’re in that place, you get stuck and afraid. And that’s because you’re living only from your life above the neck. Which is why confidence feels like the issue.

Your way back to experiencing confidence is through embodiment practices. There are many techniques and tools for this. A simple one is deep belly breathing— when you breathe lower in your belly, it helps to stoke that flame of your inner mojo.

There’s also a special breath technique where I guide you through a practice – it’s a free audio download.

And if you’d like to take it to the next level, I invite you to get your lifetime Mojo Membership where you’ll get access to 100s of audios, videos, worksheets, tips and tools that will give you a full library of confidence enhancing Mojo at your fingertips.

Whatever you choose, choose something that helps you begin to galvanize yourself back into your body, which is the very first step of bringing your confidence back.

As always, these episodes are FOR YOU.

And they are driven by your needs and desires to discover YOUR truth.

To have your question considered for an upcoming Truth + Tequila episode,

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The Real Undressed is here to inspire you to get free…in whatever way, shape or form that takes.

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We’ll see you Friday for a full episode with a true dynamo and sexual super hero, Sex and Relationship Geek, Reid Mihalko.

As always, thanks for getting undressed with me.

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      © 2021 Deborah Kagan